Changes

There have been lots of changes in my life recently, both personally and around me. However changes don’t scare me anymore, changes don’t put me off from me doing things anymore, but I’ve learnt to accept changes and become more excited about facing new things and new situations.

I’m waiting for my brother to get back to me about him finding a business and I go to UK. I also quit my Accounting job last week on the 21st February, then I've been busy with my job interviews. I was very confident and happy with the interviews, but still waiting for them to get back to me.


In Sydney after TYO meeting.

Then… one of my best mate, he got a job in US so he moved there, he will be there for another 2+ years and all this feels so weird… I feel like I’ve lost my right arm… seriously. I have also met so many people recently and made few really good friends. I've started asking question to myself if there are any BAD people around? Everyone I come across is so nice, warm, caring and friendly. I feel like pinching myself and see if it’s a dream or real.


Jega Send off party @ Pan Cake Parlor

I think it about finding myself… when you try and find yourself; you will start doing things which you really want to do and make you really happy…. So you also get to meet and make friends who are so much similar to you in their thinking and behaviors.

E(e)lam & Bible

“This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘See, I will break the bow of Elam, the mainstay of their might. I will bring against Elam the four winds from the four quarters of the heavens; I will scatter them to the four winds, and there will not be a nation where Elam’s exiles do not go. I will shatter Elam before their foes, before those who seek their lives; I will bring disaster upon them, even my fierce anger,” declares the Lord. “I will pursue them with the sword until I have made an end of them. I will set my throne in Elam and destroy her king and officials,” declares the Lord. “Yet I will restore the fortunes of Elam in days to come,” declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 49:35-39

I don't know if it really means Eelam (our homeland) or its some other country called Elam. But what ever Lord saying on bible... thats all happening in Eelam; our homeland.. I guess, one day we all going to have a happy life there... and the people there will live in harmony.

My Poems (??!!!)

Building Nation

Sky is up there
Land is down here…
We are stuck in between!
Who is superior?
Who is minor?
What kind of questions are these?
When we are born
We are all equal
As we age
We become unequal
War and horror
Became twin brothers
Chair and power
Have more value than a mother
Fair – what that means in today’s world
All these horror
Is to gain power?
Selling weapons
To continue the conflict
Stirring the countries
and keep them apart!
So you remain in power?
You are liable
to all the tears shed
Why build your nation with dead?
It won’t be a nation!
Rather it will be a cemetery!!



In the Name of God

Sinhalese government is killing Tamils
in the name of Buddha…
They love Buddha…
Is that why…
They are killings all Tamils
and devoting our bodies to Buddha…
Why is this hatred?
Aren’t we all human…?
Tiger never killed tiger…
Lion never killed lion…
Why should human kill human?
Aren’t we the smartest of them all?
What did we ask for?
Our freedom…
Is it a sin to ask for freedom?
Aren’t we humans like you?
We deserve to be treated well too…
In the name of Buddha all these killings…
Stop this…
We will rise…
Our bodies won’t be rusted in the sand…
You are only sowing human seeds in the land...
So we will grow back and stand
Not as one person - But
As one-nation







Just tried it after reading some news about whats happening to those Iraqi prisoners.

World Oh World

World… oh world…
Open your eyes…
Iraqi brothers are getting molested
They are getting humiliated…
World… Oh world…!!!
Where is your humanitarian face?
Is that your quilt to cover your ugly
Arrogant face?
You call it war for peace…
When you don’t even give the people
A peace of mind….
You call them terrorist…
While you interrogate them for your fun…
Shame on you… I’m disgusted…
UK is kissing US arse
AUS kissing both their arse…
While their forces
Terrorising Iraqis arse…
You call it war for peace?
When you don’t even
Give a shit about those people…

Youth go club
Parents go pub
No one cares what’s up
Your father is from Poland
Your mother is from New Zealand
But... you call AUS homeland
Cuz… it gave you home and land??
You really feel it inside?
You don’t care what happen to your neighbor
You don’t care what happen to your brother
Get annoyed when you don’t get to talk free
Say fuck the president when you don’t get the dole…
Don’t know the value for anything
Don’t know where life is taking you

Don’t you see all are human like you…?
They have the right too
Look at our siblings…
All you want to do is think about you?
I’m ashamed… I’m disgusted…
World… Oh… world…!!!
Where our people are going?
World… Oh… world…!!!
Where is it going to end?

Valentines Day

I’ve been doing some reading about how Valentines Day started; there are few stories about how all started.

Different writings show that Valentine day originated in Rome, the headquarters of the Catholic Church, and it slowly started spreading to other parts of the world.

The Catholic Church recognizes three different saints named Valentine, who were martyred on February 14, and all date from very early in the church’s history. One was a priest in Rome, another was the bishop of Interamna (modern-day Terni in Italy), and the third died in Africa. The bishop of Interamna or a combination of the bishops inspired the holiday and some catholic priests based in Rome. Those who have investigated on this Day say that some miraculous acts are attributed to St. Valentine.

The encyclopedia of the Catholic Church explains that the reigning Roman emperor, Claudius, was recruiting soldiers to go to war, but many men didn’t wish to leave their wives or girlfriends, so the emperor outlawed new marriages. Valentine defied him by secretly marrying couples, which earned Valentine a prison sentence and, ultimately, death. A book with a title ’’Early Roman Saints’’ recounts Valentine’s stay in prison, during which he cured the jailer’s daughter of blindness. He fell in love with the woman and sent her a final letter signed ”from your Valentine.’’

In Chinese culture Valentines Day plays an important part. They call it “The Night of Seven”, it is celebrated on the 7th of the 7th (July) in every year. In Brazil they call it “Men and Women Day” and they celebrate it on the 12th June. Third Friday in September Colombians celebrate their Valentines Day (they call it lovers and friendship day)

So… what about Tamil people? Are we only allowed to have arranged marriages? and we not suppose to fall in love with anyone? We not suppose to celebrate it? To tell the truth, Tamils are not just the father to love/ lover’s day … Tamils are the Grand Father’s. Hahahaha… If you look into the Tamil old literatures, such as “Silappathikaaram” “Thol Kaappiyam” they talk about love and how a guy a girl fall in love. There are 2,381 old Tamil literature songs and 1,862 songs tell you about Inside (love) (Its called “Aham” in Tamil) Aham means Home, Heart (as in your emotional heart) or In. If you also read “Thirukkural”, Thiruvalluvar wrote poems in Kaamaththu Paal (It means love section/ and Kaamam also means Horney in Tamil :P) There are heaps of Tamil literatures talk about love, marriage and family life. [These literatures are more than 2,000 years old]

If you read these Tamil literatures you can also find out how the marriage started in Tamil culture!!... I heard few stories about marriages in Tamil culture, but what Tholkappiyam says is: When a guy and a girl fall in love and at the later stage in their life they get into arguments and they separate, to avoid that, the people around those lovers/couples organize a ceremony to get them committed to each other and get into a relationship and not to leave each other.

Trip to Apollo Bay

I went to Apollo Bay on 10th February Night with few other mates. It was one of the amazing place I've seen. If you really enjoy sight seeing mountains, beach, jungles, rivers, water fall then you will love Apollo Bay.





We actually booked the place in October 2005, because it is always busy and its hard to get accommodation. We all got there on the 10th Friday; Ride was really amazing after Geelong; you get to drive through rangers and hill sides, it’s amazing, you can just keep on looking at those things and you won’t get bored.... Seriously and then when we get closer to Apollo bay the ride was so fun, I absolutely loved it, it’s very curvy road and you feel like you on the roller coaster… hahaha…

On Saturday it was a bit cold so we didn’t go to the beach, we went to this place called “Beech Forest”. It is close to Apollo bay and if you guys ever go, it’s a must see place. You can go for a cliff walk there, and you get to see this amazing water fall. It is at least an hour cliff walk (one way). Then on Sunday we were at the Beach whole day. I will recommend this place to anyone… and I would love to go back to this place again.





Trip also helps you to find out about other people/ friends and may be about yourself too, I mean you get to see how people handle situations and what they do if there’s any situation arises. Anybody can give a good speech if they practice, but to put them in action it can be hard if you don’t really mean what ever you say. You get to see who the real team players are, who are the kindest/friendliest, who the selfish people are, and who are the stupidest... It is amazing that you even get to see different side of your friends and how they act and react.

Don't work for Curry people

Well... this is what all my friends say. So I avoid telling lots of people that I'm actually working for this Tamil guy. I know him because he used to sing with me for Innisai Maalai. One of my friend (Barani Anna) hooked me up with this current job because he knew I had no job for a month and my current boss was looking for someone to work for him as well. So I said why not and started working straight away. Our agreement was I work everyday but he wasn't sure how many hours it’s going to be and then he will pay for my transport + the hours I worked.

Before I started work today, I was waiting outside the office for 30 minutes because nobody opened the office, this girl starts one hour earlier than me and she was sick so she didn't turn up today. So I called my boss and told him I'm outside the office and then he turned up 30 minutes later... this is not the first time this happened, this is probably the 10th time.. seriously and I come to work all the way from Thomastown, sometimes he forgets to bring the accounts/invoices so he tells me to go back home because there is nothing else to do. I only got annoyed when he sends me back home, but I just always tell him “no worries” and leave even though I was annoyed. There were reasons for me doing that, because some of the things that happened he had no control over it, for example that girl was sick and nobody opened the office door. But he could have called me and said that I can come late because there's nobody to open the door, but he didn't. And another reason: I always like to give people chance/opportunity and see what happens, because I believe they will realize, and correct themselves, Mahesh Uncle once told that people change all the time; and change is the permanent thing in life and I totally believe in that, but I won’t give them chances more than three times. If I do then it means I’m a fool.

Yesterday I told him, "I have to finish work at 5pm tomorrow", he looked at me and said "are you telling me or you asking me?" I didn't like the way he said that because I was talking to him as a friend and he just gave me a sarcastic comment. I just smiled at him and left. After his sarcastic comment, I was putting a lot of thought about how I can handle this situation, So today I was doing my job as usual and he came and told me that I must finish the job by today and then he left (that job will take about 3 days to finish for anyone).

While I was working I got this sms from a friend and if I don't check it straight away it makes an "alert" noise every one minute... so I was just checking my sms on my phone, while I was checking sms my boss came into my office room and he told me "you shouldn't be checking it while you at work". I was pissed off so I told him, if you want me to be like that then you should do the same, if you want me to be like a professional worker at your place you got to do things in professional way too, he was shocked because I never talked to him that way. He asked me what I meant, I told him about I come and wait and ect, and I don't really take breaks, [but sometimes when I really get bored I just sign into my msn and say hello to my close friends and talk for 5 – 10 minutes …because there is only two people in the office and we have different office room so I have nobody to talk to… so that’s the only break time I have (away from doing my work stuffs)] he even come and ask me to do something while I have my lunch - I didn't take them as an issue before because I was just thinking him as a friend. Every time I call him and say I'm sick he always says if you can't come to work you should tell me one day before... How the f*** I know if I'm going to be sick?

There’s more... he told me while I'm at work he owns me, because he pays me so I should just work, and I can't take break because I'm a temp/casual and also he only offered me a job because he knows me and I shouldn't be thinking like I'm just helping him or doing a favor to him. I told him that’s not right, even though I don't really take any breaks every two hours I have the right to take minimum 10 or 15 minutes break and a 30 minutes lunch break is a must and that’s the law. He just smiled at me sarcastically and then just started talking some bullsh!t. I just didn't like the way he thinks that he owns me during that period of the time while I'm at work.

Now I've decided that there’s no point talking to him, and for me there's more to life than putting up with these kind of people and I think work place supposed to be a happy friendly environment because you spend most of your life time at your work place. I will quit this job if I have some money seriously, but I just want to find another job and quit this job now.

Well… if you guys are wondering how I got the time to write this… I'm writing this on my lunch break: P

எனது கவிதைகள்

இக் கவி கொள்வோர்
இதனைக் கவியாய் எண்ண
வேண்டுமே தவிர
உங்கள் களி மனத்தில்
கரியாய் அப்பி விடாதீர்
- கெளரிகரன்

***இக் கவிதை இலங்கையில் நான் இருந்த பொழுது எழுதியது:

மானிடர்
*******
அங்காடி நாயவர்கள்
அல்லலுறும் மானிடர்கள்
அல்லும் பகலும்
அர்த்தம்ற்ற அலட்டல்கள்

கூடி ஆடுவர் பாடுவர்
கூள் குடிக்க வழியின்றேல்
ஓட ஓட விரட்டுவர்
ஓடிய பின்பும் துரத்துவர்
இன்பம் பெறுமிடத்தில்
இலத்தியாய் ஒட்டிக்கொள்வர்
துன்பத்தில் துடிக்கையிலே
தூரப்போய் துஷ்டா என்பர்
நண்பன் என்பர் அண்ணனென்பர்
உன் அன்பன் என்பர்
ஆஸ்தி கெடும் போது
அடச் சீ என்பர்
துடிப்புடன் வாழ்கையிலே
துரத்தித் துரத்தி நண்பனென்பர்
துன்பத்தில் துடிக்கையிலே
தூரத் தூரச் சென்றிடுவர்


தம் பிழையை எண்ணாது
பிறர் பிழையை விமர்சிப்பர்
தகவலலற்றும் திட்டுவர்
பின் தம் வேலை பெறுவதற்காய்
தரணியில் உன் போல்த்
தார்ப்பரியம் உள்ளவரில்லை என்பர்
என்ன செய்ய இத்ற்கு?

மனிதன் கூறுகிறான்:
"உலகைப் பார்க்க எனக்கு
பிடிக்கவில்லை" என
உலகம் கூறுகிறது:
"மனிதனைப் பார்க்க எனக்கு
பிடிக்கவில்லை" என




***இக் கவிதை ஊரிலிருந்து இடம் பெயர்ந்து வன்னியில் இருந்த பொழுது எழுதியது (அப்பா எங்கே எனும் விடயம் தெரியாதிருந்த பொழுது எழுதியது):

விடியலைத் தேடி
***************
நாடோடி வாழ்க்கையிது
நம்பாத வாழ்வுமிது
காடோடித் திரிந்திட்டே
காசால் வாழ்கின்றோம்
எங்கோ என் தந்தை
எங்கோ என் அண்ணர்
எங்கே சென்றாரோ
இங்கே வந்தாரோ
யாரோடு பேசிடுவோம்
நாம் படும் அல்லலினை
தடுமாறும் மனத்துடனே
தமிழ் மானக் கனவு கண்டு
தரணியிலே எம் விடிவிற்காய்
ஏங்கி நிற்கின்றோம் நாம்





***இக் கவிதை அவுஸ்திரேலியா வந்து சில வாரங்களில் எழுதியது:

தமிழனின் தலைவிதியா?
****************************
மர மனங்களின் மத்தியிலே
மரணித்த உணர்வுடனே
தனி மரமாய் நிற்கின்றேன்
என் தனிமையால் தவிக்கின்றேன்
தமிழனென்று பிறந்து விட்டால்
தரணியிலே இக் கதியா?
உற விழந்தோம்
உறைவிடம் இழந்தோம்
ஆன உணவிழந்தோம்
பணமும் இழந்தோம்

பறவாயில்லை......!!!
இவற்றை எங்கும் தேடலாம்
ஆனால்...........!!!
உற்றாரும் உறுதுணை நண்பரையும்
இனிச் செத்தாலும்
பெற முடியாதே....

தமிழனுக்கு இந்தச் சாபம்
ஏன் இறைவா?

குற்றமே செய்யாதவரைத்
தண்டித்துக் குதூகலிக்கும்
அரக்கனா நீ?
இல்லையே இறைவா - உன்
வரைவிலக்கணம் கூட
அன்பே மயமான அருளாளனன்றோ
நிதம் கலங்கித்
தினம் துவண்டு
மனம் வெதும்பிச் சாவதே
தமிழனின் தலைவிதி என
நீ எழுதியிருப்பின் - உன்னைத்
தவிர யாராலதை மாற்ற முடியும்



16 வயதினிலே
********************

நான் கொட்டக் கொட்ட
முழித்துன்னைப் பார்க்கையில்
நீ எட்ட எட்டப்
போய் மருள்வதில்
நியாயம் இருக்கிறது
எனெனின் நீ மானல்லவா....

ஏன் கொட்ட
விழிக்கிறேன் என
என் கிட்ட
வந்து கேளேன் நீ

என் கண்ணில்
பதிந்த உன் உருவம்
என் கண்ணிமைப்பால்
பாதிப்படைந்து விடுமோ
என்ற பயந்தான்
வேறொன்றுமில்லைக் கள்ளி


****இக் கவிதை நான் அவளில் காதல் கொண்டிருந்த போது 1997ல் எழுதியது.... இக் கவிதையினை நான் இப்பொழுது இங்கு எழுதக் காரணம், அவளில் உள்ள நினைப்பாலல்ல; காதலில் நான் வைத்திருக்கும் மரியயதையே...

காதலவஸ்தை
****************
மனதில் உன் நினைவு
கொடுக்கும் வேதனைகள்
உதைக்கும் இதயத்தை
உன் நினைவின் வேதனை கூட
சுகம் தானடி, சுகந்தங் கூட....
அதனால் தானோ என்னவோ
இன்னுமுன்னை என் மனதில்
வைத்துப் பூஜிக்கிறேன்
உன் நினைவுகள் நீங்காத
தழிம்புகளாய் என் மனதில்
என் கண்ணில் நீர் வழிந்து
உதட்டில் விழுகையில் கூட
உன் முத்தமாய் எண்ணிச்
சந்தோசங் காண்கிறேன்!

ஏனடி எறிகணையாய்
உன் கண்ணை என்மீது வீசி
என்னைக் காயப் படுத்திவிட்டு
நீ மட்டும் சந்தோசிக்கின்றாய்
ஏனடி சிரித்து என்னிதயத்தைப்
பறித்து விட்டுத்
திரிப்பித் தர மறுக்கிறாய்?

ஓ.............
இதயமின்றி எவ்வாறு இயங்குகிறேன்
என்று பார்க்கிறாயா?
உன் நினவுகள் தான்
என் நாடித் துடிப்புகளாகி
இன்று என் இதயத்துள்
ஒலித்துக் கொண்டிருக்கின்றன
பரீட்சை முடியட்டும்
என்றிருந்தது சில காலம்
கேட்டு மாட்டே னென்றாயானால்
என்று கலங்கியது சில காலம்
உன் இடம் தேடி
அலைந்ததும் சில காலம்

அதனால் என் மனதில் உனக்கிடமும்
சிலகாலமென்று எண்ணி விடாதே.......
ஆம் என்றாயானால்
ஆயுழுக்கும் நீதானடி எனக்கு
இப்போதென் கலக்கமென்ன
தெரியுமா உனக்கு?
உன் பதிலென்னவோ
என்பது தானெனக்கு
ஏனடி?............
ஏனடி எனக்கிந்த
அவஸ்தை வர வேண்டும்?



***இக் கவிதை வன்னி சென்று வந்த பின்பு எழுதியது.....

நம்மவர்
********
விடுதலைக்காய் ஏங்கி நிற்கும்
ஆலை மரங்கள் ஈழத் தமிழர்
வேர்கள் பெயர்க்கப்பட்ட போதும்
விழுதாகிய வெளிநாட்டவரால்
மீண்டும் துளிர் விட்டு எழுகின்றனர்
ஓர் நம்பிக்கையுடன்

அன்று கேட்பார் யாரும் இருக்கவில்லை
ஆறுதலும் கிடைக்கவில்லை
நம்மவரோ என்ன செய்வர்?
அங்கு அழுகையே தேசியகீதம் ஆகியதால்
குளறுவதே அரைக் கம்பக் கொடியின்
அடையாளம் ஆகிப் போனது
அவலக் குரல் தேசிய மொழி ஆகியதால்
அங்கு கதைப்பதோ இரண்டாம்
மொழி ஆக்கப் பட்டது

இந் நிலைகள் இன்று
இறந்த காலம் ஆகி விட்டன
ஆயினும் போரின் தழிம்புகளாய்
உலகில் பின் தங்கி விட்டனர் நம்மவர்

மர நிழலே பள்ளிக்கூடமான போதும்
மரணிக்கா உணர்வுடனே மாணாக்கர்கள் அங்கு
எங்கும் ஓர் எதிர் பார்ப்பு
உலகில் நாமும் எழுந்து நிற்போமென்ற நம்பிக்கை
ஆயினும் ஆண்டாறு படிப்பவர்
ஆறு வயதிற்குரிய வளர்ச்சியுடன் அங்கு

எம்மவர் கதை கேட்டால்
உலகத் தாயே ஓ... என்றழுதிடுவாள்
ஒரு தோப்புக் கிளிகள் நாம்
நம்மவர் நலிந்து போக நாமும் விடலாமோ
எம் மக்கள் நாங்களெல்லாம்
முன் வந்து தோள் கொடுத்தால்
நடந்த கொடுமை எல்லாம்
தூசி போல் துடைத்திடலாம்


***மாவீரர் நாளன்று எழுதியது:

காவல் தெய்வங்கள்
********************
மா வீரரே....
என்றும் எம் கண் கண்ட
காவல் தெய்வங்களே
இஃதறியா மூடர்
விண்ணி லென்பர் தெய்வம்
எங்குமென்பர் தெய்வம்
ஒன்றையும் காணாமலே

நாமெல்லாம் சுக வாழ்வைச்
சுய நலத்தோ டெண்ணியிருக்க
நீரெல்லாம் களம் சென்று
போராடினீர் எமக்காய்
நாமெல்லாம் என்ன
செய்வோம் உமக்காய்
மரணத்தை வென்ற மானிடரே
மரணிக்கா மகிமைகள் செய்து
மக்கள் நம் மனத்தில்
மரிக்காமல் வாழ்பவரே
மா வீரர் உம் குருதியை
ஆகுதியாக்கிக் குளிர் காய்ந்திருக்கோம்
என்றும் நம் விடிவிற்காய்
நாமும் சேர்ந்து தோள் கொடுப்போம்

உமக்கென் றாசைகள் இல்லையா
பாசந்தான் இல்லையா?
மனங்கள் மரணித்துப் போன
கல் நெஞ்சர்களா?
............... இல்லையே........

ஒரு தாயை விடப் பன்மடங்கு
பரிசுத்தமானவர் நீர்
என்றும் எம் கண் கண்ட
காவல் தெய்வங்கள் நீர்....
உம் கல்லறைகள் எம் கோவில்
உங்கள் பாடல் எம் தேவாரம்
துதி பாடி வாழ்த்தினாலும் போதாது
என்ன செய்வோம் நாமுமக்கு?
பெருமிதமாய் நம் கோவிலில்
வணங்குகிறோம் உம்மை என்றும்

My Vanni Trip

I didn't go to Vanni since 2004 July, but I felt like I went to Vanni last Sunday. These guys came from Sydney, they went to Vanni and worked there for a little while. They came here for a meeting and make an awareness of what is like to be "Tamil". We had about 30 people turned out on that day.

It was so weared that I get along with everyone and I really felt like I was in Vanni again.. lol and it felt like I know them for ages even though I only know one girl prior to the meeting.

When I think about the moments with them this (below) song comes into my mind:

"Kadavul thantha Alagiya vaalvu... Ulagam muluthum avanathu veedu kankal moodiye vaalthu paadu.... Karunai konda ullankal undu... kanneer thudaikum kaikalum undu innum vaalanum nooru aandu..... Ethai naam inku kondu vanthom... ethai naam anku kondu selvom.. Alage poomiyil vaalkayai anpil vaalnthu vidai peruvom"


Lots of people always complain about every single thing in life, I think it is because what sort of or circle of freinds you have and what sort of people you are surrounded with and the environment that you grown up... Even though I'm frustrated about certain things I'm really happy with my own life. One of my friend argued with me early last year... he said that "you always got to feel like you want more if you don't feel like that you won't fight and stand on your feet so you won't get what you want". But What I think about that is you feel happy with the life that you have and appreciate every single thing that you get then you will get the strength to get everything that you deserve to get. From my experience what I have realised is having desires only bring you disappointments and unhappiness in life.

Frustrations

I told my anna few days ago that I need to talk to him, but I only can make decision after I get my vtac offer, He called me Sunday midnight, I told him that I didn't get into nursing and I want to come down there and work for atleast one year and save some money, because if I stay here I won't be able to save anything and also its a chance for me to spend some time with my family.

My anna was discussing what I can do ect and then I told my amma, she wasn't happy and she was telling me are you going to study for the rest of your life? Get a permanent job and stay with it. I felt like they don't understand what I'm talking about, for them (most of the curry people anyway) you study hard and then you get a decent job and then you buy property and then get married and have kids and then you save for your kids and then you die without you get to enjoy the money that you earnt. They won't understand when I tell them I have a goal in my life and I wanna do certain things, it frustrates me but what can I do... my family is my family.

Then I talked to my dad, since he heard that I didn't get into nursing he started screaming, he doesn't wanna listen to me, and he was just kept on telling me just get a permanent job and get married, I was like Aiyoo Appa... nah I want to achieve certain things and I can't just find a permanent job and stay with it (I've been telling them this for ages)

What I can't understand is that what ever I say, they don't understand what I'm talking about, but I don't really blame them, its the way they grown up and they think life will be a paradise if you get married and find a permanent job. And nothing else matter unless you get married and have property and talk to or visit your relatives often... I just hate this idea but thats the way they grown up. I think instead of arguing and trying to make my point clear to them, I should just be calm and concentrate on what I wanted to do. Because I've already told them what I want to do with my life. What ever happens and what ever my parents say I know they love me and they only want the best for me, but I'm the one got to live my life and they don't know what I've gone through and experienced.

Australia Day

I supposed to type this on the Australian day... but I've been busy and bit lazy... It's about being open to different cultures when I think about being an Australian... although I born in SriLanka, I probably think bit of mixed way, I mean mentally I'm not 100% Aussie even though I have my citizenship and Australian passport, I've brought up in a different culture and everytime I do something, it makes me question myself if I'm doing the right thing or not... for example: when I come to Australia, I find it hard to talk to Girls, its not that I hate them or scared of them, but thats the way we brought up in SriLanka, but when I started to live in the Australian/western society I learnt that talking to a girl is like talking to another human being, and nowdays I even have few really close freinds.

We have freedom of speech and great life style compare to SriLanka; but still I don't feel 100% Australian, but I love this country and I feel like Australia is my step mother where I'd call Eelam is my Mother Land. May be it is because What I have experienced, I never felt closer to any Aussie people, few times I had racial discriminations at work places and also outside of work place, I guess maybe its because of that!!!

I find lots of people here take things for granted and lots of people have no patient, and most of the people are strangers; even if you live in a place for 10 years you don't know your neighbours's first name... where in Lanka, you will give your house key to your neighbour and ask them to look after it while you away or neighbour will cook for your kids or someone in the household while parents are away from the house.

What I hope for the Australia day is a place where everyone helps everyone and theres no strangers in the community. Then I may started calling Australia my mother land one day, because you know you have to mentally feel it inside you.